Callie's Secret
by lostinmymyself
Summary: Callie has always did everything on her own, that was until she met the Fosters. She had chosen a family one she didn't have to keep secrets from anymore ... The only thing is she has one secret she is terrified of sharing one that could change the moms minds about adopting her. Will she trust them ? or will she continue doing it all on her own? ( Trigger warning Self-Harm)
1. Chapter 1

**This is just a story I couldn't get out of my head. I am planning on it being a bonding fic between Stef and Callie. I feel Lena has really bonded with Jude and Callie with Stef. Anyways here is chapter one please review and let me know what you think. I am torn between Callie confessing to Stef and being caught. **

Callie looked down at the fresh cuts watching quietly as the blood flowed from them. It was her first night back at the Fosters at first she was happy but now that she knew Brandon had moved out. She couldn't help but blame herself. It seemed wherever she went she ended up hurting people, hearing a soft knock on the door then Jude's voice calling out he had to go. Callie quickly stood up after telling Jude she'd be right out she blotted the blood with some toilet paper, then she pulled down her sleeve and slide the blade she had used into her back pocket. Before leaving the bathroom she flushed all evidence of what she had been up to. Opening the door she smiled at her brother then made her way down the hall to her room. Smiling at Marianna Callie set to unpacking as happy as she was to be back with her family she couldn't help but feel she didn't belong heck even her brother had been distant all night. When bedtime finally rolled around Callie said her goodnights then changed into her pajamas and got into her bed. She pretended to sleep until she was sure the house was quiet. Only then did she get up and head back to the bathroom. After locking both doors she rolled up her sleeve and methodically went about cleaning her cuts. Once they were clean Callie threw the trash out then opened the bathroom door and headed back down the hall to her room. Sliding under the covers she settled in for another sleepless night.

Meanwhile in the other room not being able to sleep either both Lena and Stef were up. Lena was in their bed reading while Stef picked up the laundry basket that was once again filled with their kid's dirty clothes from the day. As she loaded up the washer a shirt caught her eye. Because of the state of the shirt she knew right away who it belonged to. Walking back into the bedroom she walked right over to Lena's side of the bed and showed her what she had discovered. Along the gray sleeved shirt was dried blood.

"Love I know this is Callie's shirt I just don't know why she wouldn't have told us she had been hurt. I thought I had gotten through to her the other day. I mean if she got hurt in a fight or something why didn't she say anything. "Lena reached out and rubbed Stefs knee lovingly as she examined the blood stained sleeve. Finally after a few moments she spoke softly. "I am not sure if its anything love but I do know we can't jump to conclusions we will sit her down tomorrow and talk to her. For now lets get to bed."

Sliding off the bed Stef grabbed the shirt and went back to doing the laundry. She wasn't sure why but she couldn't shake the feeling this was worse than Lena thought.

The next morning Stef woke up before anyone and after making coffee she went upstairs to wake up the kids. By time all the kids were up Lena was downstairs making breakfast since it was a Saturday most of the kids had plans. That meant after breakfast the moms would have time to sit Callie down and talk without an audience. After the breakfast was done and the kids out Lena and Stef called up for Callie to come downstairs so they could talk to her. Callie had been upstairs checking to make sure her cuts weren't infected when she heard Stef call her name. Taking a shaky breath Callie rolled down her sleeves and headed down to the kitchen. Taking a seat across from her soon to be moms Callie shot them a nervous look.

"Am I in trouble? " She asked as she wringed her hands together nervously under the table.

"No no sweets you're not in trouble mama and I just want to talk to you about something. See last night I was doing the laundry and I noticed your sleeve had some blood on it. Did you get hurt?" Stef asked silently urging Callie to trust them enough to open up.

Hearing what Stef asked Callie felt her whole body tense. She couldn't let them know just how messed up she was, if they knew they wouldn't want to adopt her anymore. After a few minutes of silence Callie looked over at Stef and smiled. "I was helping Daphne clean her new place and my arm got caught on some broken glass. I showed Rita when I got back to the house it was cleaned up and then last night I stupidly hit it and it bled some." Callie lied as she rolled up her sleeve and showed them the one long covered cut. Reaching out Stef took Callie's arm in her hands and slowly rubbed her hand over her daughters arm. As much as she wanted to believe what Callie said but something in her gut told her it was more than that. However she just started getting Callie to open up and she didn't want to push her into shutting down. Letting Callie's arm go Stef pushed out off stool and stood up. "Well sweets thanks for talking to us. Just remember if you need to talk us about anything just come to us."

Smiling over at her moms Callie took a breath and stood up. "Everything's fine I swear." Callie said before taking off up the stairs to her room. Once she was back in her room Callie sunk down onto her bed and cried quietly. She hated having to hide what really happened from her moms. They were the first family to give a crap about her and here she was hurting herself and lying about it. She had told Becca caring was telling and now she was nothing but a damn hypocrite. Rolling up her sleeves Callie slipped out her razor she wanted to cut so bad however she also felt horrible for lying to her moms. Taking a deep breath she laid back as she fought the urge to cut.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well guys I am so happy chapter one was received well here is chapter two. It will be a long road for Stef Lena and Callie but they will get there. **

That night Stef couldn't sleep after a few hours of tossing and turning she gave up trying to sleep. Sliding out of the bed she made her way out of her room and downstairs. Pulling out her laptop she turned it on and brought up google. Taking breath she typed in the signs of self harm, after a few seconds the page loaded a long list of signs ranging from wearing long sleeves all the time to claiming to have accidents. There were more then she needed and as she read through the list she mentally checked off which ones Callie fit. She hadn't mentioned it to Lena yet that she thought Callie was harming herself she wasn't sure how to bring up the subject without outing her past to Lena. When she was a teen after her horrible meeting with her pastor she had stopped trying to talk about what she was feeling. She had instead turned to hurting herself to relieve the guilt, shame and pain. Since she had never cut that deep and stopped years before most of her scars were long gone. She still had a few but she had explained them away as hazards of her job.

But now as she faced it again with Callie she wanted nothing more to take her daughter into her arms and hold her until she knew she was loved. However she knew Callie wouldn't openly accept love after all her years of being hurt it took Callie awhile to trust. Clearing the search history Stef turned off the lap top then made her way up back up to bed. Tomorrow she would have the conversation she had never wanted to have with her wife. She loved Lena so much she was her other half the thought of Lena looking at her with pity or anything other than love killed her. She just hoped Lena would understand where she came from and why she hadn't told her. Sliding back into bed Stef leaned over and kissed her sleeping wife before letting sleep finally take over. The next morning after the kids had scattered for the day Stef poured herself another cup of coffee before walking over to her wife and sitting next to her. After a few minutes of silence Stef put down the mug and turned to Lena.

"Ok Lena I need to tell you something.. But please let me finish telling you before you say anything." After getting a concerned nod from Lena Stef continued on.

"Well you know back when I was a teenager dad caught me with Robin and locked me in a room with our pastor. After that I stopped really talking to dad or anyone really Robin got spooked and kept her distance. Anyways I had so much going through my head I was losing it, I had this friend Chris he was a good guy he was enough to get my dad to back off at least. Though as much as he was there for me he had his own issues, one night he showed me just how he dealt with his pain. He had burns and small cuts all over his arms and thighs. I thought he was crazy at first didn't talk to him for about a week. Then after a bad fight with my dad I got to thinking maybe Chris wasn' that far off. That night was the first night I cut myself. I self harmed on and off for years I got help finally after I met Mike. I know I should have told you before now; I just didn't want to seem weak or screwed up. The only reason I chose now to tell you was because I think Callie maybe doing the same." When Stef finished she sat back and got really interested in a spot on her jeans.

Leaning over Lena pulled Stef into a hug and held her close. " I would never judge you babe we all have a past. Thank you for finally telling me though, I just wish it was under better circumstances. I think you should be the one to talk to her maybe if you share what you've been through she will be more willing to open up. I don't know why our baby girl does this to herself but we gotta help her." Hearing one of the kids calling for her Lena pulled back and kissed Stef, before heading upstairs to see who needed her.

Once Stef was alone she wiped the tears from her eyes then headed out into the back where Callie was playing her guitar. Sitting next to her daughter Stef waited until she had finished before talking. " I have a story to tell you. There was a girl she was only a little bit older then you, her dad caught her friend of the same sex cuddling and well let's put this way. He completely lost his shit, kicked her friend out and made her sit down and talk to their priest. She got to be locked in a room with a man telling her she would go to hell if she continued on this path. After that meeting she was beyond upset and confused it didn't help matters much that her friend decided it would be smart to keep her distance. So as you can imagine that girl felt really alone she befriended another lone. He had his own issues one being that he hurt himself it was how he dealt with his bad home life. At first the girl thought he was out of his mind but eventually stuff got to be too much and she tried it. It helped for awhile a long while but then she met a good guy who showed her it wasn't the way. Before you ask the reason I am telling you this story is because I want you to know you can tell me anything. I am not here to judge you. "

Taking a breath Stef rolled up her right pants leg and showed Called a long scar. "This was the worse of them all it bled so much I thought I would need stitches. Thank god I didn't. Now please Callie tell me the truth how did you get hurt?"

Callie who had been listening to Stefs story intently was now nervously scratching her arm. " I I did it myself when I came home. It wasn't you guys I just felt so guilty that Brandon had to leave because of me. I screw everything up." Callie said fighting back tears. Hearing her daughter admit that she had hurt herself broke Stef's heart. She was hoping she was wrong but now that she vowed to do whatever it took to help her overcome this addiction. Reaching out Stef pulled Callie into her arms and held her close.

"You and Brandon made a mistake all kids make mistakes. B staying at his dad's was his choice and not your fault love. Not your fault at all, can you please tell me when you started harming yourself?" Stef prodded gently. She wanted info but knew if she pushed to hard to fast she would clam right back up. It took a few minutes but finally Callie stopped crying enough to talk.

"I started in the home before the Olmstead's there was another kid his name was Josh he was nice but like me he was older. Since we were older we got the brunt of the abuse, he was the first person who actually helped me protect Jude. One night I had just been beat for eating too much and I was in my room crying. Josh came in and hugged me telling me it would get better, I asked him how he knew that and he said simple he found a way to make the pain not hurt so much. See he couldn't control when he would be hit but he could control the pain another way. He showed me his cuts and his secret tool I tried it that night, it hurt so bad but eventually I didn't feel anything. I am so sorry Stef I didn't want you guys to know what a freak I really am.. Then you wouldn't want me anymore." Callie said as she buried her face back into Stef's arms. Holding her daughter close Stef held back her own tears that were now threatening to fall.

"Oh baby girl no we will always want you and love you. You are not a freak and I am so sorry for what has happened to you in the past. But I can promise Momma and I love you and we will help you through this. You're not alone anymore."


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay guys I was visiting family and had to travel home. Here is chapter three warning there is description of self harm so please read on with caution. Anyways would love some feedback on where you guys as the readers would like to see it go :) Thanks for reading and reviewing means alot to me.**

That night after Callie's admission Stef and Lena had waited until the other kids were in bed. Then they sat her down it was a hard talk one where they had her give them all of her "tools" she used to hurt herself, and made an appointment with a private therapist. Then they made her promise to come to them whenever she got urges no matter the time of the day.

Callie who had almost become an expert at faking all was ok played along. She gave Stef her stash of tools and bandages and promised she'd come to them. She even agreed that seeing a therapist was a good idea. She had no plans to stop cutting it was the one thing in this world she had control over and she wasn't ready to give it up. But to keep the moms happy she went to therapy she hated it was a guy but she knew she had to play along. So she agreed to keep a journal her first assignment being to make a list of other things she could do instead of cut. That was a week ago tomorrow she had counseling and hadn't written a thing she was sitting on her bed willing herself to write when she heard Stef call everyone downstairs for a family meeting. Sighing Callie threw the pen down then followed Mariana and Jude downstairs and over to the couch.

After everyone was there Stef told them that her and Lena were trying to have a baby. Callie plastered a smile on her face hoping to hide what she was actually feeling deep inside. She couldn't believe it she had let these women in trusted they actually loved her and it was a lie. They probably only said they'd adopt her out of guilt over the Liam thing.. When they asked if they were all ok with it Callie did the dutiful thing and lied. Thankfully after everyone was on board the meeting was over. Avoiding everyone Callie headed upstairs knowing she needed to calm down Callie snuck into Stef and Lena's bathroom and grabbed one of their spare razors. Stashing it under her pillow she got out her pajamas then she grabbed everything including the razor and locked herself in the bathroom. After turning on the water Callie set to breaking the razor so she could get the blade out. Once the blade was out Callie put the pieces of the broken razor on the bottom of the trash can then she took off her shirt. As tears fell Callie carved the word Worthless into her stomach as it started to bleed she felt herself go numb. Only then did she shower it burned like hell but she took it as punishment for cutting again. When she was all cleaned up she found some bandaids and covered it as best she could. Then she dressed and threw her old clothes into the hamper before heading out of the bathroom and into her room. When she got there she was surprised to see Jesus sitting on her bed.

" Uh whats up Jesus?" Callie asked as she sat on the bed next to him.

" Oh nothing .. well are you really cool with the whole baby thing? I know I said I was but I lied momma looked so happy I didn't want to upset her. Its dumb but sometimes I think they only adopted me because of Marianna.. I always get into trouble and stuff.. I mean you and jude are cool and all and i'm glad well be siblings but a baby to moms will be even more stressed now.." Jesus said sadly. Hearing how upset her soon to be brother was Callie reached out and hugged him gently.

" Yeah I lied to it just feels they lied to me I know its dumb but I was just starting to love and trust them.. Now it feels they only said they'd adopt us because they felt bad.. I mean Lena wants a baby really bad apparently. It just sucks all I wanted was a family and now I am not even sure they really love me or just saying it because they want Jude. So don't feel bad your not the only one feeling bad about this all." Nodding Jesus got up.

" Thanks Callie I feel a little better knowing i'm not alone in this. I gotta go try and get this homework done i'll talk to you later." Jesus said before heading back to his room. Sighing Callie grabbed her journal and wrote one thing.

_Why bother looking for reasons not to cut its the only reliable thing in my life. _

After she was done she shoved the book into her bag then got under the covers and tried to sleep. The next day after school Callie headed into her therapists office handing over the book she sat down and waited. After her therapist read what she wrote he frowned and looked over at her.

" So Callie tell me why your feeling like its the only reliable thing in your life? Last week you told me you were getting adopted that things were finally looking up.. did something happen?"

" Stef and Lena lied they don't love me their having a baby.. It just all stinks. But I should be use to it by now I was dumb to think they actually wanted me who would want me a used fucked up teenager.. But know I did try to think of reasons I just don't have any. And before you ask yes I cut and I am only telling you because I know you can't say anything since its past tense and no I don't plan on doing it again.. I cut worthless because Stef lied I am worthless.." Callie said as she started to cry. The rest of the session went by in a blur after sending Callie out he called in Stef and Lena. Once the moms were seated he started in on how their session went.

" Well Callie made a lot of progress she opened up showed emotion. I can't tell you what we discussed about. But I do know from what you've said and Callie reluctantly admitted she has connected with you Stef.. I would suggest this week talking with her just the two of you. She needs a lot of reassurance kids like Callie who have been in the system as long as she has build up walls. I am here to help her knock the walls down, but your her moms without you guys on board we won't get to far. However together we will help Callie start to heal. This weeks Callie's homework is to write about her conversation with you Stef. I will see you guys next Tuesday four o'clock."

After Lena and Stef were done talking to the therapist the three of them headed to the car. All three were quiet lost in their own thoughts. It wasn't until Stef pulled into the driveway did she speak.

" Love you've been quiet the last few days is everything ok? You know you can talk to me or momma about anything. We love you love bug.." But before Stef could say anymore Callie lost it.

" YEAH RIGHT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME YOUR A LIAR.." Callie said as she slammed the car door and ran inside up to her room.

Watching their daughter run off in shock Stef sighed before telling Lena she would go. Then she headed into the house after Callie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks so much for all the follows and favorites. Sorry for the delay but my muse was being funny. Anyways here is the next chapter please review I love hearing what everyone thinks and it helps keep me motivated.**

Heading inside Stef took the stairs by two getting up to the landing she headed towards Marianna and Callie's room.

" Hey can you go help mom out sweets I need to talk to Callie for a few minutes."

Nodding Marianna shot Callie a look before heading downstairs like her mom had asked. Closing the door Stef walked over to Callie's bed and took a seat she waited for Callie to speak. After a few minutes of silence Stef sighed.

" Callie love what has you so upset?I don't want to push but the last few days you have been off. Dr. Jones said we should have one of our talks.. Callie you know you can tell me anything I am your mom, nothing you say will change that."

Listening to her mom Callie fought the urge to run and lock herself away in the bathroom. She knew she had to work on her feelings and face stuff. She had been working on it until she found out about the baby. Finally when she couldn't take Stef staring at her anymore Callie sighed and turned to face her.

" I just dealt with a lot in therapy is all I promise I will be fine." Callie said hoping the answer would be enough for Stef. Hearing the very vague response Stef held back a groan she knew there was something more. But she also knew Callie was like her and couldn't be forced to talk until she was ready. Standing up Stef bent in front of her daughter and smiled up at her.

" I get therapy is hard and so is the stuff with your dad but know whatever is bothering you.. your not alone momma and I are here whenever your ready to talk about it. You get that love yes?" Stef asked not letting go of Callie's hand. Wanting to just be alone Callie nodded. Satisfied for now Stef got up and headed downstairs to help get dinner started.

Finally alone Callie laid back and turned towards the wall crying quietly, she had just dozed off when she felt Jude shake her gently. Groaning she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Moms wanted me to tell you dinner was ready you coming?" Jude asked quietly. Not wanting to upset him Callie nodded then got up and followed him downstairs. Dinner was a normal event Jesus was covering Lena's Chicken Parmesan, Mariana was busy texting , Brandon had his face in some school book. Walking in Callie looked at the two open spots there was one on the side of Stef and one on the end of the table. Ignoring Stef's look Callie slide onto the end stool concentrating really hard on her food. She wasn't hungry but to avoid anymore talks Callie forced herself to eat a little and interact with Jesus and Marianna and Jude.

When dinner was finally over Callie offered to help Jesus with dishes, so Marianna could study. She figured in order to keep Stef and Lena off her back she had to pretend all was ok. After the kitchen cleared out Callie and Jesus set to getting the dishes washed dried and put away messing around some in the process. Once the job was done Callie threw the dish towel at Jesus's head then headed into the living room to say goodnight to Lena and Stef.

She was about to head into the room when she heard Lena gushing about the baby. Exchanging a look with Jesus both teens shook their heads before heading upstairs. Heading into her room Callie grabbed her phone and collapsed onto the bed. Not really caring about homework she scrolled through Instagram until Stef came into say goodnight.

Waiting until she was sure Stef was in her room Callie grabbed her pajamas and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. As the water ran she held the razor in her hand wanting to cut. Closing her hand around the blade loosely Callie got up and before she knew it she was knocking on Lena and Stef's bedroom door.

Stef had felt horrible one of her babies was in pain and she couldn't help her. She knew Callie had trust issues which came with the territory of growing up in the system. But she had made a big leap by trusting Stef enough to tell her about her cutting. Now it was as if Callie was as closed up as when they met. She had just finished a chapter in her book when she heard a knock. Closing her book Stef called out for them to come in.

Sighing deeply Callie took a breath then opened the door slowly.

" Uh Stef you said I could come and talk to you when I felt bad." Callie said as she slowly padded over to Stef's side of the bed. When she reached Stef's side Callie slowly opened her hand to reveal the thin blade. Seeing the blade Stef sat up and took it from her daughters hand. Handing it back to Lena to get rid of Stef reached out pulling Callie onto the bed next to her. As she stroked her daughters hair Stef asked Callie what was wrong.

" You don't have to pretend to care.. I thought you guys did but then.. it doesn't matter I know now it was a lie. So just tell me when your sending me away."

" Hold up sweets you are going no where and Momma and I haven't lied about caring. We love you and Jude so much. You are a part of our family."

" THEN Why are you having another baby? .. " Callie almost shouted. Turning away from Stef Callie brought her knees to her chest and started to cry. Stef eyes met her wife's as she attempted to calm Callie down.

" No sweets wait this is about the baby? You said you were ok with it.. no forget that it doesn't matter if momma and I have a hundred babies it won't ever change how we feel about you."

" Yes baby Mom is right no matter how many kids we have it doesn't change how we feel about or Jude we love you so much. You are as much a part of this family as the rest of the kids." Lena said as she slide onto the other of side of Callie. Callie didn't want to believe she mattered but as she felt and heard her moms reassure her she felt the urge to cut pass.

" I know moms I mean my hurt knows but my heads a mess alot of the time." Callie admitted as she stopped crying. Wiping her eyes Callie looked between her moms and smiled a small smile.

" You know what love your doing so much better.. Instead of cutting you came to me and momma. Your beating this and together we will make sure your head clears up."

Stef said as she laid back and guided her down into the spot between her and Lena. Stef knew if she asked Callie would say no and run but there was no way she was letting her girl out of her sight tonight. After Lena got onto to her side Stef leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her daughters head. Then she got comfortable and closed her eyes. They had a long way to go but she knew they were on the right path, yes Callie was upset but they could work on reassuring her. The important part was Callie had actually come to them and let them in. The rest would come in time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys so sorry for the delay, have had an off week. First it wasn't flowing then some of it erased and I had to do a rewrite. Anyways I got a review today that kicked my butt into gear. Here is chapter five there is some mature things that can trigger you so please be cautious when you read it. Also as I was rereading chapter four I noticed two typos and wanted to apologize for them its hard to catch them all when your proof reading yourself. If anyone knows of any betas that beta in the Fosters fandom please send them my way. Until then I apologize for any mistakes I may make. Also I am not sure I want to take this story so if you guys have anything you want to see please send them my way :) Keep up the reviews they really are great motivators. Ok I have rambled long enough enjoy the story. **

The next morning Stef was the first of three to wake up. Yawning Stef carefully slide out of the bed then grabbed her robe and headed downstairs to start breakfast. She had just started the coffee when she heard small foot steps behind her. Turning around she smiled when she saw the face of her youngest son staring at her sleepily.

" Hey Stef… I mean mom..why are you up so early?"

" Well love can't really sleep in even on my days off. My body just wakes up at seven like always."

Nodding Jude walked over to her and slide himself onto one of the stools. After a few minutes of thinking quietly finally after Stef turned away Jude started to speak.

" Callie's upset right… About the baby? .. You know we have been in a lot of bad homes, but there was one nice one. The Millers I think.. the dad was a fire fighter and the mom stayed at home. We were the only kids in their house they were young and actually called us their kids. Then after a few months she got pregnant and we got sent away. Guess sometimes people only want real kids. Callie didn't hurt herself again did she? She doesn't know I know but I do.. "

" Jude.." Stef started but before she could say anymore Callie walked into the room. Smiling at his sister Jude gave her a hug then said he was going to see if Jesus was up. Deciding Callie needed her full attention she made a note to tell Lena they needed to sit down and assure Jude even with the baby him nor Callie were going anywhere. Seeing Callie standing there Stef walked over to give her a hug good morning but was shocked to see the teen dodge her arms and head to the fridge. Stef froze for a moment as she watched the child she had loved for months and finally was opening up to her dodge her. She wanted answers, but Stef decided to let it go for now, least until she had a cup of coffee in her system.

Shaking her head she let Callie get her juice and head to the safety of the window seat. As she poured her coffee Stef couldn't wait for Lena to wake up, she was the good ones at reaching the kids when they made themselves unreachable. Sadly she was also hurt she had finally gotten threw to Callie the previous night and now they were back at square one.

Stef was lost in her thoughts when Lena walked into the kitchen. Looking between Callie and Stef she knew that something had happened. Before Lena could even ask what was wrong Callie had bolted out of the room and up the stairs. She needed to know what Jude was talking to Stef about. When they were alone Lena walked over to Stef and wrapped her arms around her wife's waist.

" Babe tell me what's wrong." Lena said as she laid her chin on Stef's shoulder.

" I just finally thought I was getting somewhere with her. I know its stupid but you have bonded with Jude and well I thought I had bonded with Callie.. Then this morning I go to hug her and she acts like she did that first night you brought her home.

" Babe you know Callie loves you, she won't even try and talk to me she always wants you. I mean even the therapist said you should talk to her. Just give her time she has been hurt a lot more then any kid should have been we just have to be patient and reassure them we love them." Lena said as she kissed Stef's lips gently. Now that her wife seemed to be less tense Lena walked around her and poured herself a cup of coffee. She had just sat down when she heard yelling from upstairs.

Up in Jude's room Callie was losing it on Jude and Jude was giving it right back.

" I DON'T GET WHY YOUR SO MAD CALLIE! You said we didn't have to keep secrets anymore!"

" YES BUT THEIR MY SECRETS TO TELL NOT YOURS! I GET IT THEIR YOUR MOMS YOU'VE ALL BUT REPLACED ME.. I DON'T WANT ANYONE KNOWING EVERYTHING!"

Hearing what his sister said broke Jude's heart he knew she was upset but not this upset.

" I'm not replacing you Callie… I just.."

Before he could say anymore Stef and Lena were in the room demanding to know what was going on. Looking between his moms and sister Jude shrugged and looked down.

" No no more shrugging and shutting us out what is going on you two.. you never fight." Stef said as she walked over to her youngest son. Jude looked up at Stef then came up with the first lie he could think of. He had never lied to the moms but he couldn't let Callie think he had replaced her.

" Oh its nothing really I was going to wear red nail polish to Connors she didn't want him to make fun of me. Thats it right Callie." Seeing what her brother did Callie's already confused heart broke. She hadn't meant to guilt him into covering or lying but now that he had she wasn't going to sell him out.

" Yeah thats what happened I'm sorry Jude your right you should be able to wear what you want. I'm just protective of you." Callie added in hopes Stef and Lena would buy it and leave them alone.

Stef and Lena had a feeling it was something more but without proof they decided with a wordless look they would handle it later.

" Alright loves lets try not to yell I understand everyone gets mad sometimes but try and keep it down next time." Stef said as she stood up to leave.

" Breakfast in twenty tell everyone." Stef said as she and Lena left the room leaving the two Jacobs siblings alone once again. Jude was about to say something when Callie took off. Grabbing her stuff she headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. After she was all washed and clean she stepped out and pulled out her razor she used for shaving. It took about five minutes she finally got the blade out. After that she went back in the shower to cut and release. However this time she cut on her stomach so if Lena and Stef asked to see her arms they would remain cut free.

When she was done Callie got out of the shower and looked in the mirror looking back at her was a word she had thought described herself perfectly. There where her smooth skin once was now held the word WORTHLESS. Wiping a few tears Callie went to cleaning up her cuts and covering them with some gauze. She was about to hide the bloody tissues when she heard a knock at the door. Calling out that she would right out hurrying up she threw everything into the trash basket covering it with a few clean tissues. Then she slide the blade into her pocket and walked out to the hall. Jude who had been sent up to get Callie looked at his sister with sad eyes. Not really having the words to say how sorry he was he just hugged her tightly. Wincing in pain Callie hugged him back then told him she'd be right down. Nodding he ran into the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

After he was done brushing his teeth he wiped his face then as he went to leave something red caught his eye. Bending down he moved some of the clean tissues and saw the ones covered in blood. Knowing what Callie had done he quickly covered them up then ran down the stairs and into the kitchen for breakfast. Breakfast was a normal time in the Foster's house the twins joking with each other Brandon visiting and reading music while he ate. The only real difference was Jude starting hard at Callie instead of really eating. Lena was the first to catch on and gently kicked Stef to alert her of it. When breakfast was over Callie headed to her guitar lesson, Marianna to the mall with Zach, Brandon to his room and Jesus to the living room to play his newest video game. That left Stef and Lena and Jude to clean up.

As he brought the dishes to the sink Stef stopped him. " You know buddy you can talk to us about anything. Jude looked between the moms as he chewed the inside of his cheek gently. He wanted to tell them what he saw more then anything but Callie's words were still echoing in his head. After a few seconds of his heart fighting his brain Jude shook his head and smiled.

" I know but i'm ok promise!" Jude said before heading into the living room. Sitting next to Jesus Jude looked at him waiting until he passed whatever level he was on to talk.

" So you know how you never told anyone about Marianna selling your pills. Did you feel bad lying to mom.. I mean Stef and Lena?" Pausing the game Jesus turned to his brother and sighed.

" Yeah I felt bad a little but I am so use to protecting her I kinda always felt it was my job you know? But look what happened mom got shot and Ana screwed everything up. If your asking if you should tell something that happened with Callie then yeah I think you should… sure she'll be mad but you kinda owe her don't you? She's always protected you maybe it's your turn to step up." Jesus said before turning back to his game.

Knowing Jesus was right Jude took a breath then walked back into the kitchen. " Lena .. Stef.. I lied. Something is wrong." Jude said as he took Lena's hand and lead her up the stairs to their bathroom. When they got there he picked up the waste basket and showed her the bloody tissues.

" I"m sorry I lied but Callie she's my sister.. she thinks I replaced her with you she hates me.. so she hurt herself." Jude squeaked out before burying his face in Lena's stomach. Wrapping her arms around her youngest son she held him while he cried. Once he was all cried out her and Stef walked him to his room and sat him on his bed.

" First things first bud Callie is upset but its not your fault. Its not her fault. Thank you for telling us. We want to help Callie and we can't unless we know." Ruffling his hair she stood up and after kissing Lena she told her she was going to pick up Callie from her guitar lesson.

Stef had been waiting outside the building for about thirty minutes when she finally saw her daughter walk out and over to the car looking quite miserable. After she was settled Stef locked the doors and drove off towards the beach. She waited until they were parked to turn to her oldest daughter.

" Callie I don't know whats going on that beautiful head of yours. But you need to talk to so I can help you. I want to help you and it kills me you won't let me in. Please love just let me help you."

As she started to cry Callie finally knew she was loved and it was time to let someone in.

" Mom i'm so sorry I yelled at Jude today I thought he was replacing me with you guys. And I know you said the baby isn't my replacement but I have heard that lie before.. I I I should be strong and I'm not.. I'm so weak I cut again." Callie said as she lifted her shirt and pulled off the now very red gauze. When Stef saw the word her daughter had left on her skin her heart broke. Reaching over she helped Callie recover her cuts before pulling down her shirt and backing up her seat. Once it was back she pulled her sixteen year old daughter into her lap and held her close.

" Callie love bug you remember what I said to you that night when you went and saved Jude with Brandon? You are not disposable Callie your NOT worthless. You are my amazing daughter who came bumbling into my life changing it forever. I love you and so does mama, one baby or thousands we will always love you. No one is sending you or Jude away. And he didn't replace you with us. You gave him us to love and care for. You did such a good job for the last few years now its your turn to be a kid. Please Callie girl let me in."

As Stef finished Callie threw her arms around Stef's neck and cried into her neck. " I love you mommy i'm so sorry.. I want to get better I want to be happy." Callie cried as she finally put all her walls down letting Stef in.


End file.
